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DEKA!!! Timeline
??? to ~1850: Undocumented time period. There is no hard evidence of anything that occured during this time period. Several wars, natural disasters, and traditional book burning have wiped out most of the recorded history. 1850 to 1900: A military leader by the name of “LORD” leads a powerful army to power. LORD rules tyrannically over the entire planet. Abongos are treated as numbers, blindly assigned to jobs and renamed according to their occupation. All resources are allocated and used under the express written consent of LORD. All rights reserved. No returns accepted. Card subject to change. Void where prohibited. Batteries Not Included. 1900 to 1912: '''DEK-DEK takes over the planet, renaming it Jakopia. LORD dies '''1913; DEK-DEK gets penis enlargment. June 13, 1914: DEK-DEK sends Abongos to Earth. They kill European royalty. Abongos never heard of again. Spacecraft destroyed. 1914-1934: DEK-DEK impoverishes Jakopians to fund DEKA!!! project. Gains inter-planetary contact with European leader. 1935: DEK-DEK sends 5 DEKA!!!’s to Earth. “Good Friend Adolf” (read full history) plans for attack on night of Dec. 7, 1941. Calls off plans and then destroys DEKA!!!s. Whips Heinrich Himmler and Japanese correspondent. 1935-1950: Slow-growth malignant stomach tumor plagues DEK-DEK. Creates robotic versions of himself to continue monarchial power. DEKA!!! 2 and 3 not up to standard. DEK-DEK pronounces DEKA!!! 4 his wife, renaming “her” DAK-DAK. 1950-1951: DEK-DEK designs DEKA!!! 5 to be his heir to the throne. DEK-DEK dies June 25, 1950, tells DAK-DAK to finish DEKA!!! 5. DEKA!!! 5 is pronounced King DEK-DEK II by his “mother”. 1951-1968: DEK-DEK II passively rules as first non-Abongo king, allowing poverty-striken Jakopians to reestablish economy. Accidentally blows up “mother” DAK-DAK 1969-1974: DEK-DEK officially announces renewel of DEKA!!! program, now to be sold to the public and manufactured by private businesses (DEK-DEK still designs). December 21, 1975: DEKA!!! 1000 officially released with NUCLEUS, an all-knowing, all-powerful core that can do virtually anything. New era of DEKA!!! begins. 1976-1988: '''DEKA!!! 1000 receives multiple updates, but soon becomes “behind the times” DEK-DEK II heads back to drawing board. '''January 20, 1989: '''DEKA!!! 2000 released. Even more power centered in the nucleus. More consumer driven. '''1989-1999: A devastating earthquake destroys mass amounts of property and wipes out communication channels. DEK-DEK II works quickly to restore them, but Jakopia suffers. Jakopians heavily rely on their DEKA!!! 2000′s for survival. 1999-2001: DEK-DEK II once again renews DEKA!!! project to stimulate economy and increase morale. Allows open source development to further encourage Jakopians to reinvigorate the planet. September 11, 2001: After several test models, DEKA!!! 3000, DEK-DEK II’s greatest accomplishment, is officially released. Cheaper pricing makes it available to middle-class. Sept 2001 – 2003: DEK DEK II is burdened by his old technology, becoming less and less efficient (he is a DEKA!!! 5). Quickly works to develop a modified DEKA!!! 3000 to become his heir. January 20, 2003: DEK-DEK II crowns the new king, his son DEK-DEK III. Later that night, DEK DEK II falls into lava pit and dies. Perfect timing. 2003 – ???: DEK-DEK III fully dedicates to making DEKA!!! a household name across the universe, initially sending test model DEKA!!! 3000s to Earth to discover more about the humans.